Lonely 2018 Christmas.

The word “Christmas” used to be a big deal till I got into the university.  At least back home, we had something called Christmas break which could be from school management or gift from ASUU via strike but now hmmmm it’s just a day or two off  which doesn’t really make much sense to me because the class scheduled for that day is either moved before Christmas or after Christmas both ways I have to study.

Ab initio , I start to look forward to December as soon as we are in “ember month” for it’s a festive season when I get to have that special cloth called “Christmas clothes ” plus plastic glasses, plastic wrist watch ( in green colour) and a Christmas Shoe, of course not forgetting that special mum-made Christmas Stew and Spiced up chicken bhet now *Sighs* nothing special, it’s just a normal day like every other, either stuck with writing exams or preparing for one.

This year, I wanted something different but no up until now… it’s a clueless Christmas for me, myself and I sleeping and watching Korean movie smiling like a teenager in love, forgetting briefly I am Nigerian and the lifestyle  projected in Korean movie isn’t realistic in Nigeria, at least not in a “it’s a man’s world country”.

Eeeh but sure, there are cool things to pick from the movies like the one I am seeing my love from the star. I think this definitely applies everywhere sure it concerns love and since we are in the season of love… let’s talk about a scenario where love ends abi fades abi broken using Kubler Rossian’s theory of grief acceptance though I am not wishing anyone that.

According to Dr Kubler Rossian, there are 5 stages of grief until acceptance and I will be relating it to love lost scenario …. inspiration from the movie recommended by a friend with a happy ending.

The stages include:

1. Anger – What on earth is happening? How Dare they, how can he/she say this? Who on earth does he/she think he/she is. At this stage one is angry with/at everyone and everything. One tends to remember all the Ill spoken words said to them, mmmh … tantrums could be displayed and it’s best handled by not making harsh decisions… yea it’s not easy but decisions most times made when angry never turned out nice and sure irrational thoughts /actions are carried out at this stage.
2. Denial – It can’t be true, it is unreal, life goes on. This stage is usually short for most people, they snap out of it with eeerm it’s not true and have this false hope somewhere.
3. Bargaining – If we only do this or that, things will be all right tomorrow. Things like eeerm afterall you were never my type could be heard, all the dry jokes and emotionally not Available pictures flash through the mind and sure you curse them with words… she’s a bitch, he’s a jerk bla bla bla while hoping you could do something to remedy the situation.
4. Depression – This is the longest grief stage.  One is seen crying even when no one is beating them. In this movie the girl said she’s shedding tears and not crying when asked why she’s crying.. like Nne please what’s the difference… free flow of tears in both English words-tears and cry. Habits like excessive eating, smoking, drinking sets in. Reality is still with us, can’t shake it away no matter how much food one eats or quantity of drinks taken, instead health issues spring up later due to these habits. If care isn’t  taken, suicidal thoughts set it, that’s why we read and hear things like so so and so committed suicide because their significant other walked away from the relationship.
5. Acceptance – Let’s start from Ground Zero, and do the best we can. One accepts the reality.

For Females

They either

• cut their hair- reminds me of something people say, that when a girl cuts her hair after break up- she’s a new person,  like no going back whatsoever.
• Some change environment,friends, routes to avoid reminders.
• Some start gyming… to loose some flesh at some places. They try to get killer shape and prettier… it’s like saying ‘I am better off without you, I will make you regret this’.
• Some others try to meet better men, either for show off later or step up the game ish.
• Some others develope themselves more- self development, get better at things they do.

For Males

They show self destructive reactions like smoking,drinking,gambling etc, or grieve loss more than women…though this can be on low key. In the movie hunku wanted to sell his house for they are neighbours, but when his rival wanted to buy the house, he blatantly refused… aww such a sweet something.

I can comfortably recommend the movie especially to individuals like myself who see Christmas like every other day and if you want to relax, bhet just pick out the lessons and be fine.

In this festive season… reach out to people,  have quality time with family/friends and relax from the year (2018) stress. Travel if you can, have fun but don’t forget that Christ is still the number one reason for the season and sure don’t overspend to impress anyone for January has 5 months in it.

Meanwhile who has better Christmas plan, let me plan ahead for 2019 Christmas or even do something today.

Compliments of the Season????

My Christmas Recommendations and till next post, remain subscribed.